Thursday, January 11, 2007

Lies my mother told me

For the last two nights, I have spent 30-35 minutes on the treadmill. I used to hate going down into the basement to work out because it's cold and lonely - but now I love it. It's cold and lonely.

When I'm not watching something on TV, I get time to think and reflect. I'm not big on regret, so I never feel bad for my past, but I find myself thinking about what I learned.

My goodness - 10 years ago I was stupid.

In the spirit of sharing - here a just a few of the lies I've been told.

It's not what you eat, but how much

Ummm...right. Believe me, there were days when all I ate was a plate of wings and a 1/2 a bottle of vodka. I gained 20 pounds in 3 months. Clearly not the right diet for me.

If you excercise every day you can eat what you want

This one was my fault entirely. I misunderstood the concept of "eat what you want". This statement applies only if you want to eat celery, salad and fish.

You'll be happier with yourself once you lose the weight

I admit, I felt great when I was a size four. But as a heavy woman, I never had to deal with backbiting jealously, persistent harrassment and somebody telling me not to eat that or I'll gain it all back. Sometimes happiness can be found at the bottom of a bag of potato chips.

Black is slimming

One of the biggest lies of all time!!!!
When your black pants are size 22 and your black sweater is 2XL, you look exactly the same as if that ensemble was in purple with red polka dots. The difference is that in black you are trying to be invisible; in polka dots you are flipping the bird.

And my personal favorite:

You'd be so pretty if you would just lose the weight

You know, if I had a dime for every time someone said that to me, I could BUY myself pretty. Then I could tell you all to f-off.

As it stands, I think I'm a pretty amazing woman right now and I feel beautiful even when my undies are digging into my waist.

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