Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Ugh...I am having one of those fat days.

You know those days when you feel bloated and gross. When the pants that were sagging yesterday are now digging into your waist. When your fingers feel so chubby that making a fist just hurts.

And it's not all in my head. I'm getting my period, my throat was killing me last night, and my mother was stressing me out. I was a fat day just waiting to happen.

Getting my period means I NEED CHOCOLATE. There's no getting around that. Happily it does not happen every month, but this month I so needed that triple chocolate donut from Tim's. I didn't even really enjoy it - as soon as I picked up the bag at the drive thru, Mason started yelling "I need some" and Westin was whining while straining to get out of his car seat to reach the bag. It's a sad day when you can no longer conceal your drive thru sins from your kids.

The sore throat definitely warranted a visit to Co-op to get some ice cream. It hurt everytime I swallowed, and I had it in my head that only Heavenly Hash would help. It used to be Chocolate Chip, but Breyers discontinued that flavour. By the time I finished my bowl, my throat was better, but I could feel the body bloat starting in my feet.

And my mother. Well, we all have them, so I don't need to be particular about the conversation. Let me just say that anything you have heard about having a Jewish mother is true - the perpetual guilt trip (I was in labour for 44 hours with you and there were no drugs back then), the ability to disguise an insult as a question (so have you lost even one more pound), and the condescending remarks that make you feel like you are 5 again and just got caught stealing cookies (well, if why did you pay for the class if you're not going to bother taking him?) Oy....

On the bright side, my fat day really began yesterday afternoon. I only noticed it when I was on the phone with my mother. As I moved the phone to cradle it between my ear and my shoulder, my chubby cheek hit the TALK button and I accidently hung up on her.

So fat days aren't so bad after all.

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