Thursday, November 15, 2007

I have been remiss and not posted here in a while. And with all these new journals popping up, I felt I should add something.

If you want to read something inspirational, or read about the committment to weight loss, read someone else's journal.

I am in the midst of a reality check. I can't say I've given up, but I'm trying to find a way to enjoy what I like and lose weight at the same time. I want to have birthday cake and not feel I have to skip out on a meal or two to cover the extra calories. I want to have a movie night at home with potato chips instead of air popped plain popcorn.

That is the way I live. I have tried giving up the treats and had success until I stopped the program. As long as I was weighing in, I was losing. But I hated that I couldn't indulge in a steak dinner without banking my points, or cutting 2/3off and sending it back to the kitchen to be packed up, or not touching anything I couldn't calculate a point value for.

So now I'm eating Jenny Craig chili and using it as a dip for my Doritos.

I'm still getting on the treadmill, and I'm still trying to eat more sensibly. But my life cannot be fit squarely in a structured meal plan. Some nights I cannot get to eat my dinner until after 8pm. Some afternoons, I am too tired to cut up veggies for a salad. And sometimes I just want McDonalds for pete's sake. That's normal.

Still, I want to wish everyone in the body challenge the best of luck. I tried that one too and it did not work for me. But I am enjoying reading about everyone's successes. Keep up the good work.

As for me, I'll be getting on the treadmill later tonight (maybe) and then enjoying some Gray's Anatomy and potato chips with hubby (definitely).

Tomorrow, I may be back to carrots and salad. I doubt it, but there is always the notion...

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

The running thing is not working out so great. Week 3 tooks me 2 weeks to complete. But Canmore, Halloween and laziness got in the way.

I wasn't ready to give up yet. On Sunday, I got back on the treadmill, ready to start on week four.

To sum it up, week four required me to run a mile, split into two intervals of a 1/2mile each. I managed to get through the first 1/2 mile and was so pleased with myself. But by the 2nd half mile, I was done. I really tried, but when I felt my lunch coming back up and I realized I was holding on to the treadmill for dear life, I thought hmmm, maybe this isn't working for me. The other clue was that my feet were shuffling and I wasn't running anymore.

So I just walked at a quick pace, tried to run a bit more, but it was over for me. I tried again last night and just couldn't enjoy myself. So for now, I think running is off the books.

But here's the interesting thing. I walked last night at a higher speed and I added incline. The "calories burned" was higher than when I did my running. How does that happen??? I worked up a bit of a sweat, and I feel like I could do it again tonight.

Exercise has always been like that for me. Fun at the beginning, but treacherous after a month or so. In the past I have always given up, but this time I will change the program every time I stop having fun. Maybe that will keep me going.

The most frustrating thing for me was that after 3 weeks of running, I only lost 2pounds. I know, I know, I'm building muscle and it weighs more than fat, but really, when you are stuck in the numbers game, that adage is irrelevant. It's all about the numbers on the scale.

And the numbers on the scale are critical for me. When I started running, I told my hubby that for every pound I lose, I was going to put a dollar in a jar. That money was going to buy me some lululemon pants - and with the amount I want to lose, there would be enough money by the time I hit my goal weight. Hubby upped the staked, by telling me he would match my fund dollar for dollar. And then I could buy a whole outfit. What a lovely man.

But now that has changed. I no longer want the lululemon pants. I want the gorgeous pair of boots I saw yesterday at Arnold Churgin. Maybe I can convince hubby to advance me on his contributions....