4 years later...

I cannot fathom that I started this blog 4 years ago. I can clearly remember the day I sat down at the computer and simply started typing. I remember the bowl of chips on my left and the stack of papers to my right. I find it hard to believe that I let 4 years go by without really dedicating myself to losing weight and writing about it.

Over the last 4 years, we moved from Calgary to BC; the boys were commuting from Surrey to private school in Vancouver; they now attend a local public school.

I also turned 40 this year. It was like someone hit a switch that suddenly entitled me to be ageist. It felt great to be able to display my self-assurance that I have had since I dumped my first husband. But my body was doing something else entirely. Peri-menopause. Shit.

Suddenly, 2 months of working out meant I would lose 4 pounds, not 15. The pouch around my middle started to grow even though I was losing weight, and yes, the boobs are sagging. For real. Shit.

And I know this sounds terrible, but when I am at the gym and I see those 20-somethings working so hard to maintain their flat stomachs, I have to smile. Not a wan smile, but a sanctimonious, snotty smile. I now know better. Sweetie, have a kid or two, hit 40, and you will no longer have a flat stomach. You can do 300 crunches at breakfast, lunch and dinner, but you will still have a muffin top. Unless you have an endless supply of cosmetic surgery funds, it will catch up with you. Just look at your mother. Enjoy it while you can.